Friends

            Friends can’t live with them but you can’t live without them it seems. As I sit here writing this blog I’m in party chat with some friends just listening to what they say. One second they’re calling and my favorite NASCAR driver fags, the next they’re acting like they didn’t say that and that we’re best friends. Not only do I wonder if this how other people’s friendships work I wonder how I’m supposed to easily forget these things.

            First of all after that forgive me for posting something not as funny as you have come to expect. As this is the last mandatory post and I have lost most or all ambition. Even as I write this I’m in an argument and maybe it’s because where both bull headed or what we just keep clashing. This also confuses me because I remember during my slicey times they would console me and make me feel better. But the next day I’d goof up and they would make me feel worse than before then ask me to go do something because we’re friends. I tell myself that this is just human nature and we all have our faults. But if make a joke about them in retaliation I’m the villain. In some cases I deal with it because it’s easier to burn a bridge than to build one.

            Hypocrisy like this confuses me because people say they hold friendship in such high regard yet they usually never do as they say. Now I’m not saying that joking around and name calling is bad, just when it’s repeated and said with meaning that makes me want punch things. I consider myself an alright Christian I go to church every Sunday and try to follow the basic teachings. Like turn the other cheek which I find myself doing quite often. But the bible doesn’t say just keep turning the other cheek everyone gets one free one.

            Friends can’t live with them but you can’t live without them it seems. As I sit here writing this blog I’m in party chat with some friends just listening to what they say. One second they’re calling and my favorite NASCAR driver fags, the next they’re acting like they didn’t say that and that we’re best friends. Not only do I wonder if this how other people’s friendships work I wonder how I’m supposed to easily forget these things.

            First of all after that forgive me for posting something not as funny as you have come to expect. As this is the last mandatory post and I have lost most or all ambition. Even as I write this I’m in an argument and maybe it’s because where both bull headed or what we just keep clashing. This also confuses me because I remember during my slicey times they would console me and make me feel better. But the next day I’d goof up and they would make me feel worse than before then ask me to go do something because we’re friends. I tell myself that this is just human nature and we all have our faults. But if make a joke about them in retaliation I’m the villain. In some cases I deal with it because it’s easier to burn a bridge than to build one.

            Hypocrisy like this confuses me because people say they hold friendship in such high regard yet they usually never do as they say. Now I’m not saying that joking around and name calling is bad, just when it’s repeated and said with meaning that makes me want punch things. I consider myself an alright Christian I go to church every Sunday and try to follow the basic teachings. Like turn the other cheek which I find myself doing quite often. But the bible doesn’t say just keep turning the other cheek everyone gets one free one.

Hunting stories

            As with fisherman so are hunter’s all having favorite story’s they like tell. I don’t have many but my dad has a literal shit ton. His favorite of mine is the barely legal deer story.

            Two years ago my dad was out trolling just before dark not expecting to see anything. And as it just turn’s illegal hunting time he gets a call. It’s from a very angry man whom I will call Bub rub who needs my dad opinion on a deer his old man just shot. Dad pulls up to his house and see’s Bub rub in his driveway smoking a butt and drinking a bud light. Bub rub brings dad out back and sees a small deer laying in the bucket of a john deer. Proudly standing next was an old man who must have just shot it because he was still wearing all his gear. Bub rub looked and said “Do you see any horns on that thing Jeffery?”  At first glance dad see any but the old man pointed to a little bump on the deer’s head. So dad parted some of the deer’s fur and sure enough there were two little horn bumps. So dad said “yup those are horns but barely the warden may not be too happy but whatever.” To which the old man said “See Bub told you it was legal.” So they loaded the deer up in there truck kicked her in the ass and went to the nearest weighing station.

            My only good hunting story is the embarrassing heater hunting story. Two or so years ago I got a doe permit so we were looking for doe’s too. So Dad and I were out heater hunting and as we were cruising along I looked back and saw I doe sitting still in a field. So I hollered at dad and told him turn around so he did and we crept up to the field. I got my gun loaded and ready looked down the scope and realized it was a fake deer for archery practice.

             

Fishin stories

            Every fisherman and or woman has a story or stories that they like to tell. I have some favorites I like to tell and so does my dad. Dad’s favorite is the tale of the patient splake which always goes like this.

 One time me and joe where out here drinking having a good time and we went out to check our traps and Joe yelled “ Jeff come see this shit.”  And I walked over to his trap looked down the hole and saw the biggest friggin’ splake you evah seen. That fish was just waiting there staring at that shiner pectoral fins just barely moving. So we waited for a while and it still didn’t move so we went back to the truck and watched. Half an hour past the fish still didn’t take the bait and it never did until Joe went over and jigged the fish a little. And that splake chomped on that fish and took off and as soon as Joe got the splake to the hole it spit the hook out. Then a little later I went to check one of my holes and there that splake was just eyeballing my bait. So I said screw it and left[S1]   if it wanted my bait it’ll take it. But it never did even as I was pullin that trap up that splake just watched my bait.

My favorite story is the usual the big one that got away. So my grandfather and I where on silver lake in our usual spot we were just about to give up and I got a flag. So I walked over to the trap expecting it to be just a wind flag but that thing was turning like crazy. I got exited so I tried to huss that thing out of the hole. Which would’ve been fine had the fish not been the biggest bass in all the land. That fish had to have almost three feet long and it got stuck sideways in the hole. As I reached down to grab it she got free and swam away.

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Digging

     

            Over the summer I had nothing to do so my dad made me go digging with him. What did we go digging for? Worms, big ol’ sandworms in the mudflats. Usually I’d tell you how to do something like a pro but I suck at digging.

Any way’s dad came to pick up at four in the morning to go down to the coast to dig. After a long drive we finally made it to the perfect place to go digging. When we got there we met some guy who dad called butterball and two other people who I will call dubah’s. After I was introduced and stuff I got my crotch boot’s on and got a clamming hoe and descended to the mudflat.

After dad taught me how to flip the mud over and keep my hole clean and how not to be a bitch about mud he left. After a couple of minutes I had gotten ten worms and I heard people giggling like little girl’s. I looked up and see the dubah’s throwing mud at each other and dad helping butter ball who had gotten stuck in the mud. Another half hour had gone by I realized someone else was also hunting for worm’s. It was a little mud crab and chopped one of my worms in half and ate it. So in return I chucked him at butterball which scared him so much he fell butt first in the mud and got stuck.

As we were trying to help butterball up out of the mud we realized the tide was coming in. Now it’s in these situations you realize who you’re friends are and butterball had none. We helped him get upright then left him ball’s deep in mud to go clean the mud off our boots and leave. While we were cleaning our stuff we looked back to see butterball a three hundred pound man running through the mud with no boot’s on and the tide right behind him.

 

 

How to hunt like a pro

            Huntin is another favored past time of Maine and my second favorite past time. If you’re not me you probably don’t which end of the gun to use but I’m going to make you an MLG hunter.

           

            First thing you need is a high powered rifle in which to shoot with. You don’t need a gun that’s going to blow the deer’s tits apart just make them dead. I use a .308 Remington which isn’t the biggest tool in the she gets the job done. When you get your gun you gotta sight it in so you can hit whatevah it is you’re huntin. Remember when you sight it in it doesn’t have to be spot just consistent where it hit’s

 

            Secondly you need a place to hunt like a field or somewhere in the woods. I personally like fields the best because deer love them and you can see the deer. For a forest it’s best to find a place with a logging road so there are clear patches to set up in. The secret third option is heater hunting also known as trolling is where you cruise around in your truck. While this is technically illegal it is very warm so just make sure no one’s around if you shoot out of your window. But legally you have to step ten or so feet of the road to make it legal.

 

            Lastly just be prepared with a pee bottle and food. For a pee bottle always bring a Gatorade or Powerade bottle unless you have great aim. For food bring donut holes for in the truck and a granola bar or something similar for the tree stand. Also dress warm it’s always cold and when you sit motionless for about four to five hours it gets wicked cold.